nobody likes you when you're 23...

Exhausted, overwhelmed, in desperate need of caffeine... I never had any idea I would feel this way at 23. It's not really an age you ever think about being when you're growing up. It's kind of one of those "in-between" years that you forget about. 'Cause nothing cool happens when you're 23.

Actually, for me (and my fiance) that is false. We will be getting married at 23.

So now that I am another year older and another year (hopefully) wiser, what have I learned in the last 365ish days?

Right now, I never would have imagined that I would be where I am right now. I never thought that I would be living in Lansing, substitute teaching, planning a wedding... Those are all awesome things, just not what I had ever thought I would be doing right now.

God is definitely refining my thoughts on what it looks like to live with reckless abandon for Him. How I'm doing that now is nothing like I thought it would be when I spoke about it at Real Life two years ago. He is, however, continuing to show me that the things that makes sense to the world aren't necessarily how we should be living. And that we need to continue clinging to Him. The moment we think we have everything figured out, He takes us for a loop- forcing us to cling tighter to Him than to our own understanding.

I feel like God is showing me over an over again how His plans for me are not the same as my plans for myself. That even the ways I think I should be using my gifts to serve Him are not the ways that best glorify Him. That all of these experiences I'm having right now are preparing me for something greater.

God's been teaching me a lot about love. (makes sense since I'm getting married and all...) Learning to communicate in love is one of the most difficult things and we rarely do it all the time. I'm learning what it's like to love selflessly- and how difficult that can be. Along with selfless love, I'm learning more and more about how to show grace and mercy- and the importance of forgiveness. Not just saying you forgive someone for wronging you, but truly not holding it again them when they do hurt you. It's hard. I'm not perfect at it and know I won't ever be this side of heaven.

In all of those things, I see how God is making me more and more into the woman who He created me to be. And I'm excited to see what this next year of life has in store.

Thank You, Lord.