I feel like I'm absolutely awful at updating these days. It's not that I don't have things on my heart and on my mind... I just have a lack of motivation to put things down.
Aside from wedding planning/nightmares (I'll post on those another time...), I've been really struggling with where my life is right now.
Don't misunderstand me... I'm by no means saying that I don't like my life right now, not at all. I love being engaged and planning my life with my future husband. I've just been having a hard time because my life right now is nothing like I expected it to be at this point two years ago. Because of that, I kind of don't know what to do with myself.
The passions and desires I have (missions, going abroad, etc.) are not something that can happen right now. I know they will eventually, but not right now. Having a full-time position at a school is not something I can have right now either, and I'm not sure if it's something I've ever really wanted... So I feel like I'm in this new, weird place trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, what I like to do...
It's very strange, but I know God has a reason for this... and that through it, he is preparing me for other things he has in store. Things that are infinitely more than I could ever ask or imagine.
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